Rising above the One who Condescends to You

I guess it would make sense to begin with the beginning. Mrs. Doolittle is the first particularly unpleasant person I can recall. I can’t actually remember her name because we only met once, but considering what an uppity old lady she was, I think “Mrs. Doolittle” suits her quite nicely. Anyway, I must have been around seven years old.  I was staying at my aunt and uncle’s house when they were hosting a gathering of some sort. Mrs. Doolittle was one of the attendees. She wouldn’t stop gushing about what an “absolute precious doll” I was. As her words tumbled forth and hurled themselves at me, I felt all my first-grade accomplishments leave me. What did it matter that I could read, write, and had just knitted a scarf? I was an insignificant baby in her eyes. All I had left to be proud of was my cuteness.

I ran into the bathroom and sobbed. Eventually, my aunt knocked on the door, asking what was wrong. “Tell Mrs. Doolittle I know how to knit!” I shouted to her. “Dear, come out and tell her yourself,” said my aunt, but I never did. I was too scared that another series of belittling oos and ahhs would be all that would follow such an announcement. So eventually I left the bathroom and faced the room of adults once again. I crouched in a corner for the rest of the evening, avoiding eye contact with Mrs. Doolittle at all costs in order to protect myself from further disparagement. 

Where I Went Wrong and What You can Learn from my Mistake

I completely submitted to Mrs. Doolittle and let her patronizing manners push me into the corner. I should have swiped some yarn and needles from my Aunt and plopped right down next to Mrs. Doolittle, humming to myself as I moved the needles rapidly, like a pro. I should have knit a doll for Mrs. Doolittle and told her “Here’s a precious doll for you since I know how much you like to gush over them.”  Whether you’re faced with an old lady who treats you like a baby or faced with a boy who treats you like a sex toy, you must show them what you’re worth! When people try and reduce you to a lesser form of yourself—when they look at you and only see a body, when they make assumptions based on age or gender—just ignore them, stay true to yourself, and there’s no way they’ll get through to you. Or you could always try sneering at them and saying the same sorts of things they say to you. If I’d told Mrs. Doolittle she was a precious doll as well, I’m sure that would have put us back on equal footing.